Tuesday, October 16, 2012

10/16/2012 05:58:00 PM - No comments

Selamat Ulang Tahun

Aku mengenalmu dari keterpurukan.
Aku mengenalmu utuh dengan penerimaan.

kamu bukan yang terindah, bukan juga yang terbaik,
tapi kamu adalah sebaik-baiknya guru yang mengajarkanku kenyataan dalam satu kali kesempatan hidup.

Aku (pikir) sangat mengenalmu, utuh?
Seluruh kekuranganmu aku (pikir) sangat paham.
Aku menerimamu, tersenyum dalam amarahmu di permukaan.

Aku tau bagaimana rasanya berkhianat,
berenang cepat dalam dosa.
Aku pernah sangat menyalahkanmu karena kamu kuanggap sebagai sosok yang membiarkan dosa itu seperti air bah yang menyeretku dari kenaifan.

Tanpa kutau, aku adalah sumber air itu sendiri ...

Aku pernah sangat muda, mengangkat dagu tinggi-tinggi bertopang ego.
Aku berdiri menatapmu, tinggi, mengajariku bagaimana menutupi semua kekurangan.
Aku menatapmu yang penuh kuasa, tapi aku tau hatimu serapuh kristal muda.

maka tak heran ketika suatu hari aku hanya melihatmu, iba? bersimpu di kakiku.
Kamu bukan kamu yang kukenal dulu. Kamu menjadi kamu yang aku gambarkan dalam benak penuh dendam.
Sejak hari itu, aku tau aku tidak pernah benar-benar memahamimu.
Apa yang kau pikirkan dan kau rasakan hari ini, tidak setitik pun aku bisa menebaknya.
Kita benar-benar sudah berpisah jalan, berpisah warna tali, berpisah jarak dan hati,

Kamu jauh sudah.


Aku menjagamu sampai hari ini, menjagamu dalam kenangan. tidak pernah lupa, bukan karena perasaan apa pun, tapi memang karena kamu pernah ada.
Bisakah? Suatu hari kita bertemu lagi dan dengan nyaman, saling bertukar senyuman?
bisakah kita berteman, seperti hari-hari sebelumnya saat kamu mengakui siapa kamu sebenarnya?



Hari ini, aku memanjatkan doa, menyebut namamu untuk pertama kalinya sejak bertaun-taun lewat.
Semoga hatimu menjadi yang terkuat, meski tetap rendah hati.
Menjadi manusia pemaaf, dan selalu menjaga diri.
Bahagialah kamu, ....
Selamat hari ulang tahun ... untuk kamu di sana.

Happy Birthday, the #@th

10/16/2012 10:33:00 AM - ,,, No comments

My First Day


Aku lagi duduk di ruang dokter. bukan di kursi pasien, tapi di kursi dokternya ... *cough*

My first day started yesterday actually, tapi nggak tau juga kapan harus hitung hari pertama, benar kemarin ... atau waktu di rumah. And I've met my first patient, ... nah ini juga, aku bingung yang mana yang harus aku hitung sebagai pasien pertama, kemarin, atau waktu di rumah, atau .. justru waktu IKM di Puskesmas dulu.

but it feels the same: EXCITED!

pasien pertamaku di rumah, pasangan suami istri ... yang sama-sama asma. Romantis ya? Sakit aja kompakan. Terapi masih dibimbing ayah, tapi edukasinya well ... I'm flying solo, finally :)

nah kemarin, seorang ibu, post partum H+26, riwayat preeklamsi, datang karena demam batuk pilek. Agak keder juga, soalnya bingung banget mau kasih obat ini itu, tapi mendadak lupa mana aja obat yang kontraindikasi ibu menyusui. Terus tensi ibu nya masi agak tinggi, borderline sih ... tapi si ibu minta dikasih obat anti hipertensi.

I was like ... whew ...
What have I drag myself into?
Can I be a doctor? yes it is somehow, easy.
but, can I be a good doctor for my patient?

Aku mau kasih yang terbaik buat pasien-pasienku, siapapun dia/beliau, dimanapun, kapanpun.

Menjadi dokter berarti siap belajar sepanjang hayat.
Menjadi dokter berarti siap mendedikasikan hidup dan disiplin ilmu kami untuk kemajuan dan kesehatan masyarakat.

-bahasa gue mendadak berat ... berasa lagi orasi-

aku sudah memilih jalan ini, dan bismillahirrohmanirrohim ... semoga Allah memberi kemudahan dan berkah serta hidayah nya bagi kami, para dokter di seluruh dunia.


Sunday, October 7, 2012

10/07/2012 10:19:00 PM - ,, No comments

me-trivia

just found this trivia game, and can't resist to try it. nda will be pissed of when he know I'll post this one. I said to him I'm going to sleep, right away after his last call. but I couldn't help myself. sorry :)

here's the link :

Bold what applies to you:

You are in high school.
You dropped out of high school.
You live within 20 minutes of your best friend.
You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed.
You live within 20 minutes of your ex.You have been to the movies within the last week.
You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours.
You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year.
You have been a designated driver.
You have broken merchandise and not paid for it.
You have played strip poker.
You are Catholic.
You are Atheist.
You recycle regularly.
You have dated a blonde.
You are friends with a redhead.
You are taller than your mum.
You have a bank account.You’ve written a check for less than $5.
You have visited the Statue of Liberty.
You have visited the Eiffel Tower.
You have visited Big Ben.
You have visited the Colosseum.
You have visited The Great Wall of China.
You have never been out of the country.
You have been a waiter/waitress.
You own a Bible.
You own something with a Pentagram on it.
You have used a Ouija Board.
You have been a witch for Halloween.
You have been a zombie for Halloween.
You have your eyebrow pierced.
You have a Monroe piercing.
You have your nose pierced.
You have no tattoos
You have more than 5 tattoos.
You straighten your hair.
You have worn a dress in the last 3 days.
You live somewhere that gets snow.
You celebrate Hanukkah.
You were at your own house last New Year’s.
You were at a bar last New Year’s.
You can’t remember last New Year’s.
You slept through last New Year’s.You have worked on Christmas Eve.
You have worked on Christmas.
You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today.You were told by someone who’s not family.
You slept in your own bed last night.
You are wearing a necklace right now.
You are wearing something red.
You are wearing something blue.You are wearing something purple.
Your phone number ends with an even number.
You have kissed the last person you called/texted.You are currently listening to music.
You are waiting for something.
You don’t like seafood.
You have eaten deer sausage.
You have given a complete stranger your phone number.You have been hit on at work.
You have been hit on by someone more than 20 years older than you.
You have been whistled at.
You have been creeped out by it.
You were dating someone in December of 2008.You are still dating that person.
You have cheated on someone.
You have been cheated on.You have been on a cruise ship.
You have camped out in your own backyard.
You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you.
You are a Pisces.
You are an Aquarius.
You are a Leo.
You wonder what will happen when you die.
You are afraid of the dark.
You have been told you have nice handwriting.
You have had a song written for you.
You have had a picture drawn of you.
You have curly hair.
You are wearing a watch.
You are wearing flip flops.
You wouldn’t date someone who smoked.
You know someone with the same birthday as you.You slept in past 10 am today.
You have big plans for next weekend.
You are thinking of someone right now.
Your job is stressing you out.You don’t have a job.
You have never had a job.
You were fired from your last job.
You know sign language.
You will usually try something at least once.
You have been swimming in the last month.
You are pessimistic by nature.
You have taken a ballet class.
You have taken karate.
You have taken gymnastics.
You wish on shooting stars.
You wish at 11:11.
Your birthday has already come this year.
You have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year.You ended your last relationship.
Your ex ended your last relationship.
You aren’t over your ex.
You have gone after someone you knew was bad for you.You were/are a teenage mom.
You were named after someone.
You like your name.
Your last drink was water.
You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’.
You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going.
You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’.
You have a hangover.
You have a pet fish.
You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house.
You have godparents.
Your parents are still married.
You have step-siblings.
You are the oldest.
You are adopted.
You have a twin.
You don’t want kids.
You want more than four kids.
You have a bad temper.
You usually make the first move in an intimate situation.
You have made out with a complete stranger.
You have worked with a Kayla.
You have gone to the movies with a Jared.
You have hugged a Lexie.
You have held hands with a Marcus.
You have dated a Rachel.
You have broken your arm.
You have had to get stitches on your face.
You have had an MRI.
Your fingernails are painted.
You like to draw.
You like to sing.You can play an instrument.
You keep a lot of secrets from people.
You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you.
You don’t trust people easily.
You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone.
You drive a car older than a 2002.
You have lost a friend you never thought you would.
You know a child who died of cancer.
You know a teenager who died in a car wreck.You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours.
You have cut your hair in the last week.
You wear glasses.
Your favourite season is Autumn.Your favourite colour is orange.
Your favourite animal is a dolphin.
You last rode in a car with a relative.
You last rode in a car with a girl.You last rode in a car with the person you are dating.
You regularly watch Asian dramas.
You love Chinese food.
Your best friend is older than you.
You have to go to school/work tomorrow.
You answered every question truthfully. > the ex? no.

Friday, October 5, 2012

10/05/2012 12:36:00 PM - ,,, No comments

Menulis Nggak Susah, Tapi Juga Nggak Segampang Bikin Mantra

Be positive when you start writing!

Jadi, aku sekarang sedang dihadapkan di siatuasi mau-nggak-mau-harus-nulis. apapun. entah narasi biasa, sajak, personal literatur, bahkan yang agak panjangan seperti cerita pendek atau novel. rasanya susah! apalagi nulis yang terakhir itu. seringkali berakhir dengan writer's block! *gigit jempol kaki*

Akhirnya aku harus biasain diri lagi nulis di notebook (liteally notebook, buku kertas-catatan, yang ditulis tangan), karena biasanya ide yang aku tulis pertama kali di catatan itu yang paling orisinil. Karena mindset-ku waktu nulis apa pun di laptop itu labil sekali: aku tau, tulisanku bisa aku delete & edit sesuka hati. beda dengan tulisan di catatan yang kalo salah, coretan panjang di catatan itu justru punya seni sendiri. seni dari imajinasi yang orisinil.

ngetik novel, atau bahkan cuma cerita pendek, sangat tergantung mood & juga banyaknya distraction. dan membangun situasi, mendeskripsikan sebuah karakter, fisik, atau lingkungan -yang notabene berperan penting terhadapa bagus/nggak nya sebuah cerita- sangat bergantung dengan imajinasi yang aku punya. sedangkan imajinasiku sendiri dipengaruhi dari informasi & intelegensi yang baru atau sudah lama mengendap di otak. selain itu, gaya bahasa yang khas juga punya peran untuk menarik peminat pembacanya -yang nggak flat & garing- itulah .. beberapa hari belakangan ini merasa salah baca referensi, karena novel & cerita-cerita yang aku baca hampir seluruhnya adalah cerita dari luar negeri, yang tentunya .. ditulis dalam bahasa inggris. makanya, waktu nilis cerita sendiri, kalimatku kaku banget, nggak luwes, nggak 'nyastra'.

-masi inget dulu waktu bikin skripsi, karena jurnalku hampir semuanya jurnal luar negeri, dosen pembimbing sempet beberapa kali ngingetin untuk ganti struktur kalimat, karena kalimat-kalimat yang aku tulis lebih keliatan kayak terjemahan jurnal, bukan dari hasil pemikiran sendiri-

gimana sebenarnya cara buat tulisan jadi menarik? gimana biar pembaca nggak bosen? I don't know.

tapi aku terus belajar. aku harus tetap nulis! kapanpun. dimanapun. apapun tulisan itu.

tulislah apa yang ada di pikiranmu, jangan takut duluan tulisan kamu jelek, membosankan, dan dihambat pikiran pesimis lainnya. karena itu yang membuat ide besar di kepala kita terpenjara oleh kekhawatiran diri sendiri.
membacalah ... menulislah. negara ini butuh banyak penerus dengan ide dan pemikiran cemerlang, bukan mereka yang banyak bicara -kesannya- baik, tapi dengan pemikiran kosong itu.
menulislah, bagikan ilmu kepada orang lain.
menulislah, dan jadikan dirimu bermanfaat dengan membagi ilmu baik pada orang-orang di sekitarmu.
menulislah, meski tulisanmu di pagi hari hanya tiga buah kata singkat, (tetapi penuh makna kebanggaan & harapan besar):

"Selamat pagi, Indonesiaku ..." 

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